![]() That could be my New Year’s resolution for 2024. Therefore, the first step is to step back and focus on my needs and wants for a while. It’s gotten so bad that I have become way too emotionally invested in the lives of people who are more or less acquaintances there has to be a healthy balance between caring too much and not at all. So, not only do I carry the weight of my own problems on my shoulders, but I also carry everyone else’s. Listening to and empathizing with your friends is a good thing, but it can’t just be a one-way street. I have so little confidence in myself and my own dreams that I have shortened my horizon and aimed for the tiny victories, such as being there constantly for “friends” who use me as some kind of therapist and then abandon me once their regular life gets back in order. I must also stop thinking I must rightfully earn my place on Earth I am here because I was meant to be here.įurthermore, I have always thought that doing extraordinary things in your lifetime makes you special. Treating people with kindness and respect, even amid your own turmoil, is a powerful strength, but now I know I should have put some of that positive energy and love towards myself. I was only given one life, but I have spent a quarter of it trying to justify my existence by giving all my energy to others, which is very rarely ever reciprocated. Where does our worth go to hide? I don’t even remember the day I started putting others’ feelings before my own, yet I know it happened, and it’s been hard to stop. ![]() My only solace is knowing that I am not alone in this feeling the world is filled to the brim with people-pleasers and self-deprecators. I still continue to treat others a million times better than I ever would myself I have tried to formulate some possible reasons why, and all of them make me feel stupid and a little enraged that I don’t care enough about myself to change. ![]() What’s even sadder is that nothing has changed. The sad thing is that I thought I was being noble, but I was being unfair to the person whose happiness should have meant the most to me: myself. Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer WriterĮver since I was a little girl, I have wanted to make everyone happy, even at cost to myself.
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